Monday, March 12, 2018

“The Prices Are Rising, The Prices Are Rising”

“The Sky is Falling, The Sky is Falling”

I’m very nervous… actually quite scared.  I try not to think about it (take deep breaths I keep telling myself and this too will pass).

But I just can’t.  How could I? How could you? If you keep getting bombarded with emails over the last few days.  It seems like as soon as it’s out of my head then BOOM I see another email in my inbox!

Oh my God! …. It’s happening again…

The prices are rising! The prices are rising!

Depending which oracle or deity you consult- the end time is nearing.  We have days, just hours, to act! Doom’s Day will be either March 13th or 15th depending on which way you read your doomsday calendars.  

That’s right… Burger King and White Castle are raising their prices!  My friend Ted (who is actually an opening DJ for Ed Sheeran) told me to keep calm.  He said this happens every year… There are some Nostradamus people out there who will predict the end of days.  He says its best to focus on life 10 years ago, when things were good, cheap, life was more simple.  But I keep asking myself “How am I going to afford my regular fast food fix?”  He reassures me with graphs that the prices are not actually rising… But blog posts and emails from my favorite fast food restaurants tell me differently!  Spin me something relaxing DJ to calm my nerves please.

They say it can be predicted by the currency exchange and the markets, its in there the Chinese Yuan and the USD... its all in the cards man... perfectly explained... are you saying you know something about the markets????

Get this….White Castle is even raising their prices of their small fries and I don’t even like small fries!  But this has me really really concerned because just like the Beastie Boys say “White Castle fries only come in one size!”  Not only that, but their yearly promotion is ending… How will I get my $5.00 All Barbecue Chicken Meal… not until next year or maybe they won’t even be running that promotion next year… who knows how long I have to wait for a deal like that?

Who out there will reassure me?  I’m begging you people.  I can even meet you at Macha Tea Company near by for some tea… its actually not on Norris Court at all but in a new lot by the Freeway and is Open all night long for those who are will to step out of their comfort zone.  I know It’s not the same now that John went away but I’m beginning to like it more…. Nah there’s no time for that…

I was getting real weak so I went to White Castle for the $5.00 meal but they sold out! Ahhhh….

Ok, scrap that idea… run to your closest Burger King or White Castle- drive through is fastest.  Now is your only time to act.  So don’t hesitate and act now... Take out your wallet or puerhse and follow the links. 

Don’t miss out! Don’t miss out! Don’t miss out!



Cwyn N said...

Remember to add on Uber Eats. :D

Matt said...

People are just trying to save money and be pragmatic. Taxi union not happy!